OUR CURIOUS RELATIONSHIP with the English has been the subject of some thought by yours truly this past week. I even found myself contemplating a situation where I might be happy to see them win the World Cup in South Africa this summer.

That might seem like heresy or treason to some, but still the thought crossed my mind after Wayne Rooney bagged another couple of goals last Tuesday night as Man United beat West Ham. The striker is in such flying form at the moment that any team he plays for has to have a chance of winning whatever they're involved in – and so I looked up the odds to see what the English can be backed at. They're available at 6/1 to win the trophy if you shop around, so a tenner down would win you ¤60 back. All right, so the Irishness in you might still mean you wouldn't be actively supporting them throughout the tournament, but at least you'd have the comfort of a few extra quid in your pocket should they happen to win it.

Still though, part of you would be hoping for England to do well in a sporting event – and no matter how far we've come, that will never sit 100 per cent comfortably with most Irish people. That was really brought home with the rugby on Saturday; the win against the English is still probably the most satisfying one possible in the Six Nations, on account of all that's gone on between us and them over so many years.

But anyway, as I was thinking about that World Cup bet last Wednesday, I was actually in England myself on a day-trip related to work here. And you find they do certain things differently there. Nothing earth-shattering, but enough to make you think 'bloody English' to yourself, and reflect on how you prefer it at home.

Drivers there don't seem to like using indicators when overtaking, or turning on their lights when conditions are gloomy and overcast. The bookie shop where I went to kill some time once work was done didn't have the 'best price guaranteed' system that you take for granted here, so the bet I had on a horse that won at 5/1 was only paid off at 4/1, since those were the odds at the time the bet was placed. And every last single miserable penny seems to count when you've to pay for something.

That last one became obvious as I was topping up the fuel tank in the hire car before dropping it off at the airport to fly home. The handle on the petrol pump began to click as the counter edged just past the £11 mark, so I thought I'd even it off at £12 before going in to pay.

At the counter inside, I handed over a £10 note and two £1 coins, saying '£12 petrol on pump number five, thanks very much.' The woman there seemed somewhat startled. She stared at my money, then at the little screen in front of her, then back at the money again.

'Actually, sir, would that be £12.01?' she inquired. I'd gone a penny over at the pumps, the way that sometimes happens, but is always ignored here.

'Oh right - sorry about that,' I replied, expecting it to be ignored there too. Pause. 'Well, sir, do you have one penny for me?' she ventured.

'After all, you didn't quite manage to get it just spot on,' she added. 'You silly little man.' All right, so she may not have actually said those last four words, but the tone certainly implied she was thinking it. I rooted in my pocket and found a 2p coin. 'That's better,' she said, as she deposited it in the till drawer and put my penny change on the counter between us. I pushed it back towards her with one finger, smiled, and said 'no, you keep it.'

'You must need it more than I do,' I suggested, smiling again as I turned to go. The thing is, that wasn't a one-off. Last time I had to do something similar with a hire car in England, the pump clicked over by a penny as I just intended to round things off at £26, and so there was a similar exchange at the counter inside when I handed over a £20 note, a fiver, and a £1 coin. 'I need a penny as well, please,' the man there had said, like his job depended on it. So – if you had that bet on the World Cup – could you really find yourself rooting even a little bit for a nation of penny-pinching poultices?

At first, I thought 'no way'. But consider this: your ¤60 winnings would equate to about 5,360 pennies at today's exchange rate.

That's enough for plenty of trips to the petrol pumps over there...

- COLMlambert